Those Bloody iPhones!
by Digidestend Angel
Summary: Ron tries to prove to Hermione that he can handle her muggle ways, but he meets his match when he gets his first cell phone… *RonxHermione and some HarryXGinny*


**Those Bloody iPhones!**

_By Digidestend Angel_

**Summary: Ron tries to prove to Hermione that he can handle her muggle ways, but he meets his match when he gets his first cell phone…**

**I do not own Harry Potter Characters.**

**NOTE: If you have a iPhone, the calling Ringtone is "Xylophone", the text messaging tone is "Tri-Tone", and the Alarm is the "Calendar Alert" sound. If you don't have one, look it up, or use your imagination. **

**Enjoy :)**

"Happy Anniversary."

"Happy Anniversary."

Hermione pecked Ron on the lips with hers and rolled out of bed. Ron got confused. "Where you going?"

Hermione looked back at him. "To make breakfast." Before he could object, his beloved girlfriend left the room.

_-It's our freaking one year anniversary of being in an official relationship and she decides to go make breakfast? It's Sunday!-_ Suddenly his stomach growled. _–Oh…nevermind.- _

After brushing his teeth and fixing his hair, he headed downstairs into the kitchen, and just in time since Hermione was putting his scrambled eggs and toast on a plate, and made her oatmeal. Her hair was in a tight bun, with her long bangs loosely hanging; wearing one of his flannel shirts and a pair of short-shorts. She smiled at him. "Set the table, will you, love?"

Ron nodded, still in a daze from staring at her, and set the table as she asked. He was wrapped around her finger.

Before Hermione could sit down, an annoying sound came from her purse.

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

Ron was so startled by it that he reached for his wand…if he had his wand with him, but unfortunately, it was back in the bedroom.

Hermione giggled at his actions as she reached in her purse. She pulled a device out, and Ron remembered. Her Cellular Device.

_-I'll never quite understand her muggle contraptions.-_

"Hello?" She answered. "Hi, mum." And she left the room, out of politeness to not disturb Ron's breakfast.

When she came back a few minutes later, Ron was halfway done with his plate. She placed her cell phone back into her purse and sat down, ready to eat.

"You're mum owl'd?"

Hermione laughed. "It's not "owl'd", Ron. The term is "called". Cell phones CALL people, while Owls send messages by flight. There's a very big difference."

Ron scratched his head. "It's all gibberish to me."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "My mum was just checking in. She's really happy I got a cell phone, so now she can call me whenever she wants."

Ron sighed. "Oh, joy."

"Ronald!"

"Sorry, go on."

"Nothing much else to say." Hermione took a bite of her oatmeal.

"If I got a cell phone, will I be able to call you?" Ron inquired.

Hermione was taken aback by his question. "Um…oh, well, yes, of course."

Ron looked in deep thought as he stared at his empty plate.

Hermione ignored it and continued with her breakfast.

Finally Ron spoke, "I want to get a cell phone."

Hermione suddenly choked on her oatmeal as she was swallowing. Ron rushed to her side and had her drink her orange juice to help. He patted her back until she could breathe normally again.

"Are you alright?" Ron asked, looking worried.

Hermione had her hand to her heart, as if to help it calm itself as she nodded. "Yes." She then cleared her throat and motioned for Ron to sit back down, so he did. "Ron, I know you're trying to get used to the muggle lifestyle here, since we moved here a month ago, but maybe you should take things slow…I mean, you just learned how to use the TV we bought and the laptop my parents bought for you for your birthday. I don't want you to get overwhelmed."

Ron sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at her. "Are you saying I can't learn your muggle traditions?"

"No, that's not what I was saying. I just don't want your brain to overload itself with all this new technology that's around you." Hermione defended herself. "Maybe in a couple months-"

"Hermione, I can handle a phone!" He argued. "How hard can a phone be?"

"Well, I guess it depends on the phone…"

"I want a phone just like yours."

Hermione groaned. "An iPhone? Ron, be serious!"

Ron glared. "Hermione, you took to your cell phone alright and pretty quickly at that! It won't be that hard for me."

Hermione sighed, not wanting to get him angry. "Alright, fine, but I'm sure it will be too much for you."

Ron snorted. "Yeah, I bet you that I can get the hang of a cell phone within a week, without anybody's help!"

Hermione raised her eyebrow. "Oh, you reckon?"

"Yeah."

"Even texting, picture messaging, phone camera, and even answering the phone?"

Ron blinked. "Uh…yeah, of course!"

Hermione laughed. "Ron, you don't even know what those things are! You'll never be able to figure out a phone within a week without help!"

"Oh, we'll see about that, Hermione. I'll prove you wrong!"

Hermione smirked. "Fine. I bet that you won't. If you lose, you have to do dishes, laundry, and cleaning around here for a whole month."

"I can handle that, easily."

"Without magic."

Ron twitched. He hated cleaning by hand. "F-fine! But if I win the bet, I get to go for my driver's license again!"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Ron! You almost killed the driving instructor last three times you tried!"

"Deal, or no deal, Hermione." Ron teased. "Scared of a challenge?"

Hermione sighed. "Okay, bets on. I'll go buy you a phone tomorrow on my lunch break."

Ron grinned. "Thank you!"

"HARRY, HELP ME!"

Harry rolled off his bed in surprise, "Ow." He reached up to his nightstand and put on his glasses. "What, Ron?" He asked as Ron barged into his one bedroom flat.

"Why are you sleeping?" Ron asked.

"Oh, I don't know, Ron! Maybe because we were up till 3am trying to catch a kidnapper? And then we had to stay at the ministry to write our reports and do MORE paperwork!" Harry snapped. "So I am exhausted!"

"But-but, I need help!"

"Oh, what a shock." Harry muttered under his breath. "Alright, mate, what do you need help with?"

"This." Ron held out a small device in his hand, and practically shoved it in Harry's face.

Harry had to step back a few steps to avoid getting hit. "Oh, you got a phone? Congrats, mate!"

Ron blinked. "You know what this is?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I have one." He reached into his pants pocket. "I know it put it somewhere…aw, here it is!" He finally dug into his third pair of jeans lying on the floor and brought out an iPhone.

Ron's eyes went wide as saucers. "YOU HAVE ONE? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Harry winced at how loud Ron was being. "I didn't think it was important for you to know, since you didn't have one. No use really." He shrugged. "Ginny, Neville, Luna, and George have one too."

"My own siblings!"

"Yup."

"Does Hermione know?"

"Well, yes, she has my number." He showed his friend. "We text every now and then."

"Text?"

Harry chuckled. "How long have you had your phone, Ron?"

"About 20 minutes…"

Instead of chuckling this time, Harry burst out laughing. He was practically doubled over, tears coming to his eyes from laughing so hard.

Ron growled and clenched his fists. "This is serious, mate! If I don't figure this damn thing out, Hermione will win the bet!"

Harry gradually stopped laughing and wiped his eyes. "What bet?"

"Hermione was against the idea of me having a cell phone, thinking it was going to "overwhelm" me, but I bet her I could. So if she wins the bet, I have to clean the house for a whole month!"

Harry shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

"WITHOUT MAGIC!"

"Oh." Harry cringed. "Yeah, that's bad. What do you get if you win?"

"WHEN I win, I get to go for my driver's license again!" Ron grinned proudly.

Harry's eyes widened. "Ron, you-"

"Almost killed my driving instructor three times, I know! Will everyone quit reminding me?" Ron yelled out of annoyance.

Harry sighed. "Okay, I'll help you…even though I really am against you going for your driver's license again."

"What do you people expect me to do? Not drive at all?" Ron asked.

Harry looked around, nervously. "Well…uh…I was kind of hoping…"

"Will you help me or not?"

"Sure, I will." He put his finger on his phone and slid it over. "What's your number?"

"My what?"

"Your number…"

"Uhhh…my age number? I'm going to be twenty-one…"

Harry slapped a hand on his forehead. "This is going to take a while…"

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

Ron stared at his phone with wide eyes as he tried to figure out what to do. His phone was making strange noises and vibrating! "Oh bloody hell!" It said Harry's name on the phone, but what the hell does that mean? "Slide…to…answer…" Ron blinked. "Um…" He decided to try and do what it said to do. He put his phone on the kitchen counter and slid it from one hand to the other…it was still making that noise! He slid it from his hand to the other one again. Nothing! "Oh, man! What do I do? What do I do?" He panicked.

"Ron?"

Ron threw his phone in the air out of shock and caught it in time before he fell to the ground. Harry told him to never drop it because iPhone's can easily shatter. He placed the phone in his pocket since it stopped making noises. "Hello, Hermione! Lovely day, is it not?"

Hermione smirked. "Uh-huh. So having fun with your first phone?"

Ron looked anywhere but at her. "Uh…yeah…"

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, it's fun!" His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat. "This is the easiest thing I've ever had to figure out!" He lied.

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She asked in disbelief.

"Is that hard to believe?"

"Why, yes…yes, it is." Ron glared at her. "But hey, you are intelligent." She walked up to him and gave him a kiss, but suddenly Ron's phone went off and he jumped in the air maybe two feet out of surprise.

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

Hermione backed away, shocked by his reaction. "Ron!"

Ron looked around and reached in his pocket, fumbling with the phone that was vibrating and making that horrible noise again. Once again, it read Harry on the screen.

Hermione tried to not laugh. "Uh, do you need help, sweetheart?"

Ron looked back at her and chuckled nervously. "What? No! No, no! I, uh, I just don't want to answer for Harry right now…"

Hermione nodded, seeing right through him. "Uh-huh. Well, I'll be off. Ginny, your mother, and I have a dinner date tonight. Will you be alright?"

Ron nodded quickly, trying to cover his phone with his hands. "Oh, yeah, of course! I'll maybe go to Harry's place." He answered, trying to stay calm.

Hermione shrugged. "Alright then. See you tonight."

"See you then!"

"Love you." She called before she walked out the front door.

"Love you too!" Ron yelled before the door shut. He looked at his phone. It stopped again. He sighed in relief. "Okay…I better get over to Harry's before-AH!"

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

"SOMEONE HELP!"

"Okay, Ron, now to call someone, you have to open your phone." Harry instructed.

Ron looked hesitantly at his phone on Harry's kitchen counter.

Harry sighed. "Ron, you've learned how to open your phone. You can do it!"

Ron nodded his head, shakily, and put his finger on his phone. He slid it over, but nothing. "What? Harry, it's all black! Oh, great, I broke it!"

"Ron, Ron, calm down!" Harry told him, putting a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Remember? You must push the round button with the box shaped sign on it first." Harry said, slowly, as if he were talking to a two year old.

Ron made an 'o' with his lips. "That's right." He pushed the button and then slid it open. "Hey, I did it!"

"Bout time." Harry muttered, and then took out his phone. "Okay, now to call someone, you're going to go to the icon that says Contacts."

"The what?"

Harry sighed again. "An icon is a little colorful sign on the screen that you push and it shows what you wanted it too…Contacts looks like a phone book, and also…IT SAYS CONTACTS ON IT!"

"Oh, right." Ron said, ignoring Harry's yelling. He pressed the icon and it opened. He saw many numbers that Harry thought him to put in the day before. It took them about 3 hours to do so, but he got the hang of it. "Okay, now what?"

"Scroll down to my name."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "What scroll? This is a cell phone, Harry, not a scroll!" Ron asked in an obvious tone, frustrated that Harry was trying to confuse him.

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "My bad." He mumbled. "Put your finger on the phone, slide it up, and keep sliding it until you see my name." Ron did so. "Good. Now tap on my name."

Ron gasped after he did so. "Harry! It has your phone number, picture, and everything on there!"

"That's because Phone Books are supposed to have my information."

"But Harry, this is a cell phone, not a phone book!" Ron snapped. "And you're the one teaching me?"

Harry twitched, but kept himself from snapping right back at him. "Again, my apologies." He forced himself to say. "Now tap on my number."

"Number?"

"My phone number!"

"Oh, right." Ron tapped carefully on Harry's cell phone number. And suddenly, the same noise that his cell phone makes at random times started making it on Harry's phone.

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

"Merlin, your phone too, Harry?"

Harry rolled his eyes as he showed his phone to Ron. "Ron, you're calling me from your phone."

Ron looked to his phone. "Oh, yeah. Completely forgot, mate!"

"Oh, what a shock." Harry muttered. "Okay, now, look at my screen." Ron leaned in to see. "It says "Slide to Answer", right? You see?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I see."

"Good. So what you do to answer it, is slide it with your finger like you're going to unlock it." Harry slid his finger over and suddenly it started a timer. Harry put it up to his ear. "Ron?" He motioned for Ron to pick up his phone.

Ron looked confused.

"Can you hear me over the phone, Ron?"

Suddenly, Ron heard two Harry's. One in front of him, and one over the phone. "Harry, you're voice is in the phone! That's bloody brilliant! It's great magic!"

Harry slapped his hand on his head.

Ginny tapped her fingers on the dinner table at a fancy Italian restaurant as Harry nervously tried to ignore Ron's text messages. "And you can't put your phone on silent…why?" She asked, getting annoyed easily and wanting to break Harry's cell phone, throw it in the nearest river, and then go kill her brother, and throw his cell phone in the river.

Harry sighed. "I have to. What if the Ministry calls?" To get used to half their Aurors living in the Muggle World, the Minister of Magic decided to have a way to call by cell phone. "I have to always be available to their calls."

"Can't they owl?"

"An owl landing on our table in a public restaurant would not be good for us, Ginny."

Ginny nodded in understanding. "That is true."

_**Dum-Dum**_

Another text message. Harry quickly ignored it. "Why did you have to teach Ron how to text again?" Ginny asked, officially making Harry regret teaching Ron how to use messaging.

Harry sighed. "So he wouldn't lose the bet he and Hermione made."

"I swear, those two will never stop irritating each other." Ginny commented. "What's the bet?"

"If Ron doesn't figure out his cell phone, inside and out, by Sunday, then he has to clean the whole house everyday for the next month." Harry explained.

Ginny shrugged. "Why is that so bad?"

"Without magic."

Ginny shuddered. "Oh, man, that sucks!" She looked at her cell phone that she got when she moved into the muggle world with Luna as her roommate. "It's Thursday…he has till Sunday?"

"Yes, but he still has so much to learn." Harry said. "But I almost hope he doesn't learn how to use his cell phone…"

She raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because if he wins, he gets to go take his driving test again."

Ginny gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. "What? But-but Ron has almost killed his driving teacher THREE times already!"

Harry nodded quickly. "I know, but Hermione agreed to it."

Ginny sighed, in a worried way. "Hermione must be so sure that Ron will lose."

"Yeah."

Ginny spotted their food coming. "Well, let's just hope things turn out alright."

Hermione was in her bedroom on Saturday night, reading Hogwarts: A History. She'll never get tired of this book. It somehow brought her peace.

_**Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun…**_

Hermione took her phone off the charger and it read Ron on the screen. She giggled and answered. "Well, you are learning, aren't you?"

"Yes, my love, I am." Ron's voice came through. "Come downstairs for dinner if you will, ma'am."

Hermione smiled, even though he couldn't see it. "Yes, my good sir." She hung up and put her book away, getting off the bed. _–He has calling down…now all that's left is text messaging, alarms, contacts, pictures, picture messaging, apps, and his ipod.-_ Hermione mentally went through her check list as she went down the stairs. As she was hitting the last step, her phone went off.

_**-Dum-dum**_

She opened her phone and saw a text message from Ron, with a picture message. It was a picture of the dinner he had just made. The message was: "Yes, it's true, I, Ron Weasley can cook!"

She noticed it wasn't just sent to her; it was a group messaging. It was sent to her, Ginny, Harry, Luna, Neville, and George.

_-Okay, he has pictures, picture messaging, contacts, and text messaging in general down.- _Hermione concluded. _–All he has left is alarms, apps, and his ipod.-_

She entered the kitchen and saw that the table was set for two, with two candle sticks lit, and Ron moved to pull her chair out for her to sit. She smiled and gave him a kiss before sitting down. "Mmmm…smells delicious." She said, sniffing the air.

Ron brought her plate and put it in front of her and his on his place setting.

Spaghetti and Meatballs, with salad on the side. Hermione's favorite.

"Oh, Ron, this is delicious!" She said as he put a oval shaped plate in between them. She looked at him questioningly.

Ron read her mind. "The garlic bread shall be ready in a minute-"

_**Beep- beep-beep…beep-beep-beep…**_

Ron's cell phone went off from his pocket and he pushed a button before putting it back in his pocket. "Sorry, that was my timer!" He rushed to the oven with mittens on and carefully put the garlic bread covered by foil on the empty plate. "Smells good, doesn't it?" Ron said while pouring them both some wine.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, yes, it does." _–Alright, he has alarms down. But he still has apps and his ipod to go…-_

They both enjoyed their dinner and conversations about their lives at work or just outside of home.

"So anything else fun on your phone you've found?" Hermione inquired, wanting to know about apps.

Ron nodded quickly, grinning. "Have you seen this game on here called "Words with Friends"?"

Hermione nodded her head. "Yes, I play with our friends. You play?"

"Oh yeah, I do! Later on, remind me and I'll put in your username."

_-Username? Well, what a 21__st__ century word he's learned there.- _Hermione thought to herself. _–Okay, he's got apps…one to go.-_

After cleaning up, without magic so they could have more time together, they both headed out onto the front porch and sat comfortably on the bench outside. Hermione snuggled up to Ron, as he had an arm tightly secured around her. Ron got an idea. "How about some music, Hermione?" He took out his phone and when to his ipod.

Hermione groaned. _–OH BLOODY HELL, WHY?-_

Hermione, Harry, and Ginny stood outside the England's main DMV, and waited for Ron to return back from his test. The driver was shaking terribly has he got into the car with Ron, in a giddy mood, at the wheel of one of the cars. Hermione got nervous as Ginny held her hand while they sat on the outside bench. "Oh, what's taking so long?" Hermione asked, her eyes steady on the road where Ron should be coming back on.

Ginny gave her hand a squeeze. "Don't fret, Hermione. Calm yourself. Have faith."

Hermione nodded. "You're right. I need to have faith that Ron will pass."

Ginny looked at her funny. "Uh, no, I meant you need to have faith that they won't die."

Harry was pacing in front of them. "If anything happens, it will be all my fault!"

Hermione looked at him. "Why's that?"

Harry stopped pacing and turned to her. "Well, since I helped him figure out his iPhone and he won the bet, I'll feel horrible if-"

"Hold on!" Hermione snapped as she stood from her seat on the bench. Ginny stood with her, startled at her outburst. "You helped Ron? He said he learned on his own! He wasn't supposed to have help! He was supposed to learn on that damn phone all by himself!"

Harry and Ginny looked to each other with wide eyes. "Oh…uh…oops?" Hermione went up to Harry and smacked him over the head with a packet of papers. "Ouch…um…sorry."

Hermione growled. "I swear, when I get my hands on him…"

"Wait, here they come!" Ginny shouted as they saw the car Ron was driving come around the corner, in a fast pace. "Uh, isn't there a stop sign at that corner?"

Hermione groaned. "Yes…"

Ron's car would go fast, but then Ron stepped on the breaks real fast, and then go again, and just repeat that cycle over and over. His driving instructor was feeling sick. Ron pulled into the parking lot quickly with a sharp turn and he slowed down to park in front. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny stood, waiting for him to stop. Suddenly, Ron stepped on the gas on accident…

"AH!" The three yelled as they jumped out of the way of the car when it drove onto the curb where they once stood!

Ron's driving instructor opened the door and began throwing up outside the car.

Ron was grinning. "How'd I do?"

**Dang, that was funny!**

**Review, please!**

**-Digidestend Angel-**


End file.
